friends打印版.doc

101TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate(ThePilot-TheUncutVersion)[Scene:CentralPerk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarethere.]Monica:There'snothingtotell!He'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!Joey:C'mon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!Chandler:AllrightJoey,benice. Sodoeshehaveahump?Ahumpandahairpiece?Phoebe:Wait,doesheeatchalk?(Theyallstare,bemused.)Phoebe:Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl-oh!Monica:Okay,'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerand-:Soundslikeadatetome.[TimeLapse]Chandler:Alright,soI'mbackinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,:Oh,:ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphone...:Insteadof...?Chandler:That':::Allofasudden,'tknowwhattodo,:Andtheyweren'tlookingatyoubefore?!Chandler:Finally,IfigureI'dbetteranswerit,anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisvery-veryweird,because-shenevercallsme![TimeLapse,Rosshasentered.]Ross:(mortified):Thisguysayshello,:Areyouokay,sweetie?Ross:Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneck...Chandler:Cookie?Monica:(explainingtotheothers)::(toRoss)::Ooh!Oh!(ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.)Ross:No,nodon't!Stopcleansingmyaura!No,justleavemyauraalone,okay?Phoebe:Fine! Bemurky!Ross:I'llbefine,alright?Really,':Noyoudon':NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!Joey:Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian...Ross:No!!Okay?!Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?Shedidn'tknow,howshouldIknow?Chandler:SometimesIwishIwasalesbian...(Theyallstareathim.)DidIsaythatoutloud?Ross:Itoldmomanddadlastnight,:Ohreally,sothathystericalphonecallIgotfromawomanatso