BEC中级写作.ppt

BEC WRITING
PART ONE
You have been informed that next Wednesday pany'puter system will be closed down so that improvements can be made.
Write an email to all staff in your department:
♦ saying what time on Wednesday the system will be
closed down
♦ suggesting how staff should prepare for this 
♦ saying how the system will be better after the
improvements 
Write 40--50 words
学生作文
From: Jenny Xu
To: All Staff
Date: 5 April 2009
Subject: Computer System
I want to tell you that our based on Linux will be closed next Wednesday at 10 o’clock. I want to suggesting that you should save all your important documents. puter system will be faster because we will use a newer SAP system. The new system is according to ISO9000 and we will benefit from that.
作文解析:
BEC作文解答时,审题非常重要。题目中给出的要求就好比是解代数题中已知条件,都要用到。小作文处理的时候,大家不妨可以把每一个已知条件扩写成一句句子,同时兼顾句子之间的连接。
    通常学生犯的错误是:
    1. 漏掉题中给出的已知条件。
    2. 给出的已知条件没有表达清楚,用词过于口语化,没有条理,暴露出语言
功底薄弱。
    3. 切忌过于花哨的发挥,多说多错。 
    这篇学生的作品是比较典型的案例。作者有一定的英语表达能力和工作经验,但文章中所暴露出来的不足也是明显的。以这篇****文为例,作者在具体语言的表达的雕琢上可圈可点,比如说第一个句子中based on引导的过去分词做后置定语,但是显而忘记了这篇文章的主要目的,那就是通知同事公司电脑系统要升级,但update这个词始终没有在文章中出现,因此读下来以后,可能同事还不是非常清楚,puter system will be closed down, 尽管后面提到了improvement,总让人觉得有些如鲠在咽,言之不尽;因此,思路不清晰是这篇****文最大的问题。
此外,本文还有以下一些问题:
    1. 有些用词过于口语化,比如说,文章开头, I want to tell you, 文中you should save这样的用语;
    2. 建议Linux, 将SAP, ISO900等唬人术语统统除去,诚然BEC涉及到基本的商务知识,但是真正考核的还是语言功底,语用能力;商务知识好比是盖浇饭里面的小炒而已。
    ,I want to suggesting….,当然阅卷者不会刻意去搜寻语法错误,而是综合考量语法得分,但由于小作文篇幅较短,那么这个错误就显得非常明显。
范文:
Please be informed that puter system will be closed next Wednesday at 12 o'clock for system upgrade. The closure will last for at least two hours. Make sure that you have saved all your documents before that time. The whole system will run on a new server, much faster than the current one.
PART TWO
You work for PJT Ltd, a pany. You need more staff in your department and your line manager has asked you to write a report explaining why.
Look at the information below, on whi