,amanachievedthefirstlyingonthefirstplacestand,,,,nogainwithoutpain,,,whileworkinghardinpresent-,(表意不明),amanachievedthefirst(whowonthefirstprize“得第一”,定语)(加主句谓语动词is)lyingonthefirstplacestand(podium“领奖台”),,.【一段描述图画,为下文展开话题做铺垫】(with…句型太老套,且与话题无实际联系,建议替换为相关句式,如谚语等)Withtherapiddevelopmentofoursociety,,nogainwithoutpain,theysay.(nopains,)Nomatterhowhighachievementshehasoncemade,(主句不完整,加主语he)willlagbehind(加others)petitionword(world拼写错误,且应删除).Theachievementsoncemadereflectthatoneisgoodinthepassingday,whileworkinghardinpresent-.【本段思路不清晰,论点和论据
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